Montessori Radmoor

Many times in our lives we are faced with a transition. Perhaps we make the decision to change our career, move to a new home, or have a family are some of the largest transitions we can take. There are also small transitions, taking a new route because there is road construction, moving the furniture around, deciding to go to a new restaurant rather than going to the one you normally patronize.

Now, I think that we can all agree that with large transitions we are all very aware that we experience very strong emotions before, during and after the transition. We can become short with our loved ones over “little things”. We feel anxiety because of the unknowns, things that are not under our control can alter our normal behavior even when we were in control over the decision or excited about the change.

But small transitions can have the same effect. You might not realize it, but it’s there. Feeling tension because you are traveling a path of asphalt not usually driven, hoping that your family members like the “new improvements” that you made to the interior of your house, entering into an establishment blind to the wait staff and menu. If you take a moment to think, you will realize that you experience many of the same emotional responses that you feel with large transitions.

When I was going through my AMI training for Montessori I spent three very intense summers with a small group of people. We became very close, very quickly. Call it survival mode if you will, many of us had to move to Texas for the summer, uproot our families or leave family members behind, most of us would wake up before 5am to study, attend class all day and then study until midnight. Our exam was pass or fail.

About three weeks before the last summer and our exam we all started having challenges with our relationships with each other. We were curt, we withdrew, and we exchanged words that we would have liked to take back. After it was over, and we all passed, we chalked it up to stress and lack of sleep. It wasn’t until I started working in the classroom that I started to see similar behavior happening with students. It was an “Ahh ha moment.”

I noticed that around a month or two before the end of the year students who normally got along very well, were having a hard time sometimes getting along, some withdrew from the group, and yet others seemed to get angry at nothing in particular. I realized, although they were not conscious of it, expressing anxiety and excitement over a new transition; the end of the school year.

For some students they were graduating. It was becoming very clear to them that they were experiencing their last bagel breakfast, International Night, Biography Time Line. They would be graduating and going to a new school. It is very exciting; it is very scary, it is very sad. To the adult that has lived through it, survived, and well beyond that place, we sometimes forget that this is a very large transition for these young people. As their elders we are responsible to listen with empathy.

Sometimes, students are not always aware that little changes or transitions might be affecting their outward behavior. Some examples are: not coming to school every day and going to a camp (Even if the camp is going to be extremely fun!). Not seeing their friends every day, having a friend graduate or move on to another school.

Again, be observant of a difference in behavior. Many times, anxiety over a transition can manifest itself through anger, defiance, getting emotional over “little things”. Think about yourself, think about times that you have felt these emotions, you may not have been aware as to why you are behaving in this manner, as I was not aware in my training.

Now that I am aware of transitions and my own personal behavior towards them, I am more conscious of how I need to be in charge of my choices in how I interact with others. Talking to your child when you see these behaviors manifest themselves because of transitions helps a great deal. Helping them put a name to their feelings and how they can be aware and be in charge of their emotions is a gift to help them navigate their lives.

Sincerely,

Christine

Image Credit: mariamontessori.com

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