Fostering Independence in Children

“Help me to help myself.”

One of the fundamentals of Montessori education is guiding a child to independence through meaningful conversation and work. Some goals of an elementary Montessori teacher are to help guide children to problem solve, to speak their mind, and to work as a community to accomplish goals.

While in the classroom this week, I was observing two students “helping each other”. What was strange about this was the fact that I just saw one individual manipulating the material and the individual that needed the help was looking in the other direction. This got me thinking, do they actually know how to “help” one another. I stepped in and asked the students what was happening. Of course the reply was, “She is helping me with my work.” I asked the two of them, “When you ask me for help, how do I normally respond to your questions, do I ever just give you an answer or move materials for you?” The two thought for quite some time and replied with, “No, you always respond to our questions with a question and we move our own materials.” I was quite pleased with their response and asked them, “How could you help your friend differently so their brain grows?”

This was a good experience for me as well as the children involved. It allowed me to sit back and ask myself what was happening between them and how I could aid them to independence in the most noninvasive way possible. Children at the elementary age are in a sensitive period for communication and because of this, peer help and peer instruction is essential. Helping the children to help each other and themselves is how we aid them to independence and to becoming their own person.

As Montessori teachers and parents, we should look for opportunities to allow our children to grow independently and allow them to solve problems on their own. We cannot expect them to just know how to problem solve, however, if we guide them to answers rather than just give them answers we are encouraging their higher level thinking and for them to think for themselves.

“We must help the child to act for himself, will for himself, think for himself; this is the art of those who aspire to serve the spirit.” Maria Montessori Education for a New World, p. 69