Have you ever found yourself using the words “no” or “don’t” when talking to your children? 

Sometimes when a child hears the words no or don’t they often tune out the words.  When you say don’t stand on the chair, a child may just pay attention to the stand on the chair part.  Often when a child hears stop, don’t or no, his or her emotions can escalate negatively.  They don’t always understand why they can’t do something, so it helps if you can give them the reason behind your words.  It also helps if you put your request in a positive way.  Instead of saying “stop jumping on the couch” try “the couch is for sitting. I’m worried you will get hurt when you jump.  Please sit on the couch”. 

When your child is exhibiting an undesirable behavior it is important to tell them what they can do verses what they can’t.  An example would be instead of saying “no you can’t have a piece of candy” you could say “you can have candy after dinner.  If you are hungry now, you can have an apple”.    When you take the time to explain why you are asking your child to do something you can avoid resistance from your child, it helps him or her to develop self-discipline and learn to make good choices.  

Sincerely,

Rachel