Is it really important whether children do chores or not?

When asking that question let’s first look at what the child is gaining from participating in chores at home.  At a young age, the two, three and four year old is typically very eager to participate in the chores you are performing at home.  They love to sweep and mop the floor, help load the washing machine with dirty clothes and even fold them.  Children at this age want to work side by side to help in the kitchen cutting fruits or vegetables and washing the dishes.   These activities are not perceived as chores to the child, to them they are feeling included and important to your family.  In addition, these activities support their development of fine and gross motor control and concentration.  So when your child says, “I want to help”, take a deep breath and say thank you, and provide an age appropriate task for them.

If you start this at a young age you will find they will continue to want to contribute to the family, but in different ways.  An elementary aged child is amazingly capable of helping you plan and cook a meal.  They are often very interested in nutrition and enjoy learning about how food gives our body energy.  If they are part of the planning, they will be more eager to pack their lunch for the next day.  Children at this age love the responsibility of taking care of a pet or having specific tasks that help the family function as a unit.  Why?  These tasks make them feel they belong, they provide a sense of ownership, and encourage them to feel they have a sense of purpose in your family or a reason to make life better.  When children are actively involved in your family they can make significant contributions to your daily living. 

What if my child is resistant?  Be patient and understanding.  We all know what if feels like to be overwhelmed by the daily tasks we have on our list.  If your child is younger, they may want some encouragement or someone to help them.  If your child is older it may be an opportunity to talk with them about what they are feeling to determine if there is more to the story or if there is a consistent expectation.

What is age appropriate?  Some additional tasks a child can assist with are setting and clearing the table, preparing their breakfast, helping with yard and gardening work, developing a chart for tasks.  If you can involve them in deciding what tasks and how often, the children will have a stronger sense of purpose and ownership of the tasks in which they are participating.

Always remember a positive attitude from the adults is also helpful!

Sincerely,

Susie